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Favorite Military Quotes

by Jordan on June 30, 2009

Ok, I thought for my next post I would share some funny quotes from my past courses in the military.  

1.  

Warrant officer: “Are you looking at me?  Do you want to take me out for dinner?  Keep your head and eyes straight forward.  Don’t look down, look straight ahead, you’ll get out of step!  There isn’t anything down there, I already picked up all the money….and the beer!”

2.

Warrant officer:  ”If you look like a bag of poo, then people will think your a bag of poo!”

3.

This next one requires a bit of explaining.  The private mentioned had lost his rifle attachment several times over.  As such, the MCpl made him carry it everywhere he went for 24 hours.  If he was caught without the item he would have to repeat the process for another 24 hours.  To make this more difficult it was attached to a duffle bag filled with equipment for added weight

When we were doing radio practice, the private was callsign 5 and the MCpl was callsign 9.  The private had forgotten to bring his duffle bag with him and the MCpl had found it.  

Mcpl: “5 this is 9, radio check over”

Private: “uhh…9 this is….5.  Roger that….uh…over”

MCpl: ” 5 this is 9….where is your bag? over”

Private” My bag?  what ba….OH NO!”

MCpl: “24 more hours 5.  Out”

4.  

Warrant: “Private(1) your fired…. private(2), your now the course senior, get the troops out on the parade square at 08:00 for drill!”

Private(2): “Sorry warrant, what was that?”

Warrant: “Private(2) your fired, private(1) do you know where they need to be?!”

Private(1): “08:00, 3 ranks outside on the parade square for drill!”

Warrant: “your re-hired!”

5.  

The private in this is very very short.

Warrant: “Private, Stand up!”

Private: “But…warrant…I am!”

Warrant: “(smiling)….oh….”

 

And those are a few funny moments from my past.